some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
