...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
