are you so shy because you have an std?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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