careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
