I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
