okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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