there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
