I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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