He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
