i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
