your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
