who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
