I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
