Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize