So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
