Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
