Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
