Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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