He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
