I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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