Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
