Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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