i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
