from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
