Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
