Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize