whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
