I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
