Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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