i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
