Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
