i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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