Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
