I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I think I am morally bankrupt
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
