My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize