His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
