Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
