your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
