It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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