we're blogging at a bar
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize