It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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