you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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