In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
