If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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