I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
