I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
