Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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