i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
