I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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