i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize