i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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