you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
