I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize