Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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