i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
accomplished twins. life is a go
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
