I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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