I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
