no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize