He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
