just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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