i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
