At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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