How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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