Your face is a jimmy john
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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