Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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