my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
