You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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