She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
