awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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