brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
