You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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