I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
