Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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